- Posted by Mary's Advocates
- On June 6, 2018
From: Go Ask Your Father for May 29, 2018
A caller named Tony asked Msgr. Swetland what he should do because his wife left the home and filed for divorce.
Excerpt from full show here (31 m. 5 sec)
Msgr. Swetland explains that you are obligated to be faithful to your wife and be a good husband regardless of what happens in the civil courts. Some couples that Msgr. Swetland knows have reconcile even after one spouse rashly filed for divorce. Anthony should keep is vows that he made when marrying – to be faithful in good times and bad.
Our culture treats love like an emotion. But love is not an emotion. It is a choice. It is something we do. True love is wanting, working, and willing the true good of the other. Msgr. Swetland told Tony that you are still called to love your wife and be faithful to her in this way.
She needs to know that you are always willing to reconcile and willing to do whatever it takes (that is not immoral) to keep the two of you together, because that is what God wants.
All you can do propose this; your wife has the choice whether or not to abandon her obligations.
If, for a period of time, you have to live separately because you are working things out, that can be done. However, it that become a long term situation there is a way in the church to recognize people who are separated who are still working things out. Canon law allows that.
What you CANNOT do is act like the state has the power to dissolve your marriage. Because it does not.
You have to go the extra mile and fast and pray for her. Because she is your wife, you have to go the extra ten miles. Forgive her. Be ready to improve anything about yourself that needs to be changed.
God wants to keep your marriage together–for the sake of your children, especially.
Mary’s Advocates supports separated faithful like Tony with our book, monthly phone conference calls, and e-mail discussion group.