Divorce is Not a Happy Fresh Start
- Posted by Mary's Advocates
- On April 28, 2017
Jews and Catholics agree. Divorce is a bad idea.
On April 4, Al Kresta, host of “Kresta in the Afternoon” on Ave Maria radio, interviewed author and psychologist, Diane Medved, about her new book, “Don’t Divorce: Powerful Arguments for Saving your Marriage.”
Medved explained that divorce became popular when the cultural values shifted from viewing marriage as a “family project” to being “a personal satisfaction project.”
They discussed how divorce peaked in 1981. For a time, divorce was presented as a solution for everybody in the family when one parent decides to divorce, as if it was better for children.
Researchers started noticing that divorce is having negative long-term effects on children. Medved says, “We now know that divorce is always a tragedy. It is never a happy thing, despite the fact that an individual that gets out of a marriage wants to think that it is the happy fresh start.”
1 min. from full interview here
Two thirds of divorces are sought for soft reasons where there is no grave abuse, addiction, or abandonment. Instead, divorce is sought when the Plaintiff feels like getting a divorce for any reason whatsoever. Medved says there are behaviors that the unhappy spouse can learn that will lead to jump starting the relationship, even if the other party is unaware that anything is even wrong.
1 min. 30 sec. from full interview here
Kresta asked Medved if being connected to a faith community helps reduce divorce and she said that those in a faith community are the ones who would discourage divorce and remind people to work to uphold their marraige promises.
Hillary Towers, a Catholic developmental psychologist has a book review of “Don’t Divorce” on MercatorNet here, wherein Towers writes:
Families, friends, clergy, and therapists can exhibit authentic care by holding accountable a son or daughter, a parent, a best friend, a sibling, or a client who has gone astray. To do so means resisting the urge to look away from, or justify, the narcissistic behavior at the core of so many divorces today.
Mary’s Advocates, the non-profit organization working to reduce unilateral no fault, shows faithful spouses how to formally petition the Catholic clergy, and ask the Church to hold accountable a spouse that is contemplating abandoning marriage and filing for divorce. See Petition to Bishop here.