Remorseful Divorce/Annulment Plaintiff

Watch my conversation with a man we’ll call John, who was a plaintiff in a no-fault divorce and later petitioned for an annulment. He wanted to share his perspective now that he regrets both decisions. 

When his marriage was in crisis, John says he was given advice by priests that was “watered down” Church teaching. He wished the priests had strongly urged him to stay committed to his marriage.  

John expresses his disappointment that the diocesan personnel emphasized his right to be happy and get a fresh start. During the annulment process, John says there was a priest from outside his parish who corresponded with him.  John believes this priest’s goal was for John’s marriage to be judged invalid.  In the end, the local tribunal judged that John’s marriage was valid. Even after he appealed, the validity of his marriage was upheld. In other words, no annulment was granted.  

Today, John feels shame and remorse, and he prays for reconciliation with his wife. He wants to warn other people against giving up on their marriage.  

I wanted to share John’s story because I think it’s helpful for divorce defendants and annulment respondents to understand the kind of advice that Church personnel could be giving divorce plaintiffs and annulment petitioners. These petitioners might not even understand what’s going on in the annulment case because all they’re asked to do is answer a lengthy questionnaire giving a personal history of before and after their marriage.  

We discussed the pastoral care that canon law requires before anyone who had Catholic wedding petitions divorce. A determination is not supposed to be made by a sole parish priest, but by the bishop’s office and the diocese Promoter of Justice must be consulted. Also, John gives ideas for improving pre-marriage pastoral care.