Ask the Church to Intervene Against Divorce

If you are a faithful spouse who is heartbroken and abandoned, you can send a plea to the diocesan shepherd, the bishop, and ask him to try to intervene to stop a break-up. Mary’s Advocates provides a template petition containing this plea. Write me (Bai Macfarlane) at [email protected] if you are interested in collaborating to uphold your marriage.

Your abandoning spouse may be inspired by an invitation from the bishop to remember his or her marital promises, and remember the original heartfelt desire to be a dedicated spouse.

Preview Petition

Thereafter, contact Mary’s Advocates for procedural advice. See PDF of petition.

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Canon Law Explained

See free flyer on Church teaching and canon law.

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Mediation, Conciliation, Arbitration

Your dissatisfied spouse, who wants to approach the civil forum for a no-fault divorce (or already has), could be instructed by the bishop to work with “a reputable person” that has expertise in helping couples work through marital difficulties. If your spouse refuses to cooperate, the bishop can still prevent scandal by defining the status of separated spouses. Scandal is given if observers conclude there is nothing ever wrong with civil divorce because the Church is silent. The bishop’s office has competence to give instructions on a separation plan that would be in accord with divine law.

Church Teaching

The Church teaches that divorce is immoral and a grave offense against nature, and is only tolerable in certain circumstances as defined in canon law. For example, if you were an adulterer or a grave abuser, your spouse would have a legitimate reason to separate from you.

No one with a Catholic marriage is supposed to file for divorce without first undergoing an ecclesiastic investigation that includes the participation of the diocese Promoter of Justice.

For flyer on Church teaching, see “Canon Law Explained” above
For comprehensive information, see Home / Research / Catholic Divorce HERE

6-minute Background Explanation

Further Information

Sections in the Petition to Bishop

The Petition to Bishop to Facilitate Reconciliation or for Decree of Abandonment has required sections and several optional sections.

Ask bishop to use pastoral means and conciliation to keep the family together (c. 1695)
Ask for Church mediation (c. 1446 §2)
If other refuses to reconcile, ask for ecclesiastical decree of separation based on ground of malicious abandonment
Ask bishop to instruct abandoner about the parameters of a separation plan that would be in accord with divine law.
Ask that sacrilege and scandal be stopped by denying Holy Communion to a party who forced divorce with no morally legitimate reason, which is immoral and a grave offense against nature
List basis in law for petition, as required in any legitimate petition.
General Facts (summary of particular situation)
(Optional) Ask to initiate the process to declare a penalty
(Optional) Ask to repair material damages ($)
(Optional) If petitioner has been notified that the other spouse is alleging that the parties’ marriage is invalid, ask that that case of separation of spouse be investigated too, and instruct abandoner of moral and civil obligations.

If it is clearly known that a marriage is invalid, a separation that is in accord with divine law should still be arranged (c. 1692 §2, 1689), in contrast to an unjust no-fault divorce. In a final decree of invalidity of marriage, the parties are supposed to be instructed of their obligations toward each other and their children (CIC 1983 c. 1689, Motu Proprio c.. 1691 § 1)

Scriptural basis for the Petition

When a Christian is deeply offended by another, the Christian works toward forgiving, while also approaching the offender with the hope of reconciling.

If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector (Mat.18:15-17).

Unlike divorce courts, the Church teaches about love, upholding individual dignity, and forgiveness. Divorce mediators only are trained in making couples agree on how to break apart their family.

Lawsuits before Unbelievers. How can any one of you with a case against another dare to bring it to the unjust for judgment instead of to the holy ones? Do you not know that the holy ones will judge the world? If the world is to be judged by you, are you unqualified for the lowest law courts? Do you not know that we will judge angels? Then why not everyday matters? If, therefore, you have courts for everyday matters, do you seat as judges people of no standing in the church? I say this to shame you. Can it be that there is not one among you wise enough to be able to settle a case between brothers? But rather brother goes to court against brother, and that before unbelievers? (1 Cor. 6:1-6)

When trying to dissuade an abandoner from his wicked ways, the Church can point parties to those expert in conciliation.

You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel; when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me. If I tell the wicked man that he shall surely die, and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked man from his way, he (the wicked man) shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death. But if you warn the wicked man, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself (Ezekiel 33:7-9).

Press Coverage in "Renew America"

February 24, 2012

Tackling the ‘taboo’: Catholicism and divorce

By Matt C. Abbott

Let’s talk about divorce, shall we?

More specifically, Catholicism and divorce.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. …

… From Mary’s Advocates:

Catholics who want to curb divorce are providing a way for faithful spouses to invoke the authority of the Church to intervene. Pope Benedict XVI recently reminded the Church of her responsibility to practice fraternal correction. Mary’s Advocates, a non-profit organization, is offering a Vindicate Rights Petition so that any spouse can ask the Church to exercise pastoral discipline in their particular marriage. The petitioner can entreat the local diocesan tribunal and appeal to Rome if rejected.

Twenty-three percent of adult Catholics have experienced divorce, according to a 2007 survey commissioned by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

‘We need to start calling divorce by its proper name, which in most cases is simply marital abandonment,’ says Bai Macfarlane, founder of Mary’s Advocates, which is disseminating the Vindicate Rights Petition. …

…Two canon lawyers reviewed the Vindicate Rights Petition.

Philip Gray, JCL, says: ‘In the vast majority of cases today, divorce has become an ‘easy out’ to avoid responsibility, pass blame, obtain revenge, or somehow justify problems in the marital relationship or between parents and children.’ …

…Father Chuck Zmudzinski, CPM., JCL, explains: ‘I worked in a marriage tribunal for about five years and one of the reasons I eventually quit was because I did not agree with how strongly biased the tribunal officials seemed to be against the bond of matrimony. I think marriage difficulties are handled, for the most part, with too little regard for the objective importance of marriage for human society and for the Church, and with too much of an emphasis on the subjective happiness of the person who is asking for an annulment so that he or she can remarry. …

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Ask Church to Stop Breakup