Ask Bishops to Drop Divorce Mandate

See signers. Comments below.

Mary’s Advocates works to reduce unilateral no-fault divorce. Virtually every diocese in the United States requires a dissatisfied spouse to have a civil divorce prior to the diocese’ tribunal considering an annulment petition.  Join in asking the US bishops to drop this policy. I will add your name to the printed petition given to the archbishop of the province in which you reside. Plus, all your names will be on the  petition sent to the US Bishops’ Conference.  You can choose whether to show your name on this petition’s webpage or only have your name given to the bishops. Join below.

June 5, 2024 note: For those who say that a divorce is required to prevent dioceses from being sued for alienation of affection, this cause of action is only possible in six states (Findlaw.com). Notably, if the grounds for Church annulment exist, the grounds for civil annulment may exist too: i.e.  fraud, mental incapacity (HI, MS, NM, NC, SD, UT).

Petition to Bishops

Your Excellency:

In the spirit of canon 212 §3, in keeping with our knowledge and position, we Christian faithful are sharing our views with the Sacred Pastors on matters which pertain to the good of the Church. We bring to your attention an issue of grave urgency. In virtually every diocese in America, a civil divorce decree is required before a Catholic tribunal convenes to determine the validity of a marriage. We respectfully and humbly ask you to begin taking appropriate steps to repeal this divorce mandate.

For a host of reasons, the divorce mandate constitutes a clear and immediate scandal to Catholics and non-Catholics alike. This mandate invites the civil government to adjudicate the obligations of the sacraments, thus giving to Caesar what is rightfully God’s alone.

Furthermore, this mandate violates both the letter and the spirit of both testaments of Scripture, every papal encyclical issued regarding marriage, the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and canon law. For a small sampling, we submit the following:

“‘For I hate divorce,’ says the LORD, the God of Israel.” (Mal. 2:16)

“Let no one, then, be deceived by the distinction which some civil jurists have so strongly insisted upon – the distinction, namely, by virtue of which they sever the matrimonial contract from the sacrament, with intent to hand over the contract to the power and will of the rulers of the State, while reserving questions concerning the sacrament of the Church.” (Arcanum of Pope Leo XIII 1880)

“Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign.” (CCC 2384)

“Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is proven.” (canon 1060)

Clearly, if divorce is a grave offense against the natural law, it necessarily follows: a mandate to obtain a divorce prior to a marriage tribunal hearing is also an offense to natural law.

Hundreds of thousands of people have been victimized by this policy. It is demonstrably true that this mandate has caused—and will continue to cause—immense harm to children, to single men and women who might otherwise be pondering the call to marriage, and to abandoned spouses.

Consider the following:

Children. It is well-established that divorce causes psychological, physical, and development problems for children. Even after they reach adulthood, the scars remain. A study by Psychiatry Research illustrated that “men from divorced families had more than three times the odds of suicidal ideation in comparison to men whose parents had not divorced.” The dioceses should be standing up to protect the innocent, yet the present policy is mandating misery.

Single men and women. Between 1989 and 2020, the Catholic Church in America has fallen from 326,000 annual weddings to fewer than 100,000 weddings. Devout single men and women are increasingly concerned that the Catholic Church will not stand up for them and for the indissolubility of marriage.

Abandoned spouses. There is a common misperception that divorce is desired by both parties. This is incorrect in the extreme. As Dr. Richard Fitzgibbons wrote in 2015, “Over the past 40 years, I have never worked with a Catholic marriage in which both spouses wanted a divorce.”

In truth, the pain is often indescribable for spouses who didn’t want the divorce. For that reason, Pope Saint John Paul II taught that the Church must support them. In Familiaris Consortio, he wrote:

“Loneliness and other difficulties are often the lot of separated spouses, especially when they are the innocent parties. The ecclesial community must support such people more than ever. It must give them much respect, solidarity, understanding and practical help, so that they can preserve their fidelity even in their situation.”

It is important to note that the abandonment often begins with the divorce policy. While the dioceses should establish programs to help couples reconcile and come together, the divorce policy has the opposite effect.

Abandoned spouses and those who support them respectfully ask to be heard. Diocesan personnel too frequently prescribe annulment as the balm for marriage difficulties. Coupled with the divorce requirement, Church leaders overlook the injustice done to children who regularly lose everyday access to the innocent spouse through divorce. The souls of children and the abandoning spouse are in jeopardy.

We ask for efforts to ensure diocesan personnel only recommend marriage counselors who have a correct understanding of the Church teaching on separation, and who are successful at reconciling estranged couples. The Church needs a ministry for innocent separated spouses which provides moral and practical help. We ask for education on the legitimate grounds for separation of spouses and on necessary canonical intervention prior to any civil forum action (i.e. civil separation, divorce, or annulment).

Most of all, clergy need training to avoid a laissez-faire attitude as if divorce is a matter about which the Church has no competence to interpose itself. When a priest makes the offhanded suggestion that a disgruntled spouse could get an annulment, he could be sentencing the other spouse and children to a lifetime of injustice and misery.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. Please know that you are in our daily prayers.

Sincerely,

Divorced and separated US Catholics who remain faithful to their marriages, and
All those who support marriage

Published Signers

Below are those who opted “yes” to show as signer on Petition’s webpage. Others’ names will be included when petition is delivered to the bishops.